Last night I had a total meltdown.
I could have not admitted it, not posted it to my blog and let the memory of it fade into the ether since the only witness to this was Yoshi. And Yoshi would have kept it private, too. But even though it’s totally humiliating, I can admit when I’m behaving like an absolute freakazoid, so here’s my confession of what happened.
After a long week of work, I headed home from the office after braving Friday night traffic in L.A. I had wanted to stop by Target on the way home to pick up a couple of items, but Yoshi said I should come straight home and we could go together to the Best Buy/Target closer to our home since I had something to return to Best Buy.
Actually, I need to back up.
When I graduated in April, I received a lot of wonderful gifts from my friends and family. My Bro and his gf were extremely generous and got me more than one gift. One was a new digital camera & memory card, which in itself was more than what I asked for (which was nothing). But then they also got me a Wii Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) dancepad and game… except that when they showed up for the dinner at graduation and saw the Wii we set up… with the DDR dancepad we already had, they were like “Oops! Sorry! I guess you’ll have to take it back to Best Buy!”
Fast forward 4 months later, the unopened DDR and the receipt are still sitting in our office in the same gift bag it came in. And DOH! The return policy says that we have 30 days to return or exchange it.
So I, not being the type of person who buys things and then returns them, didn’t really realize there was this policy, even though Yoshi tried to explain it to me. (Ok, ok. So I wasn’t listening when Yoshi was talking… my bad!)
Now four months later, we’re wondering if we can get a refund (doubtful) or hopefully store credit for something other than a second DDR dancepad and game.
So off we went to Target/Best Buy in West Hollywood on our Friday night (Whoo hoo! Don’t we live exciting lives?!). Yoshi dropped me off at Best Buy and headed to Target to start finding the things on our list. I stood in line at the Customer Service desk for a good fifteen minutes because the guys at the counter were evidently returning an XBox that had been opened and the Best Buy associate was (rightfully) going through the entire contents of the box to see that every component was still there. And there was another guy in front of me in line. And of course, there was only one register open.
I finally got to the counter and hoped for the best. I had the original receipt in hand and the still-in-plastic Wii DDR. Jose looked in the system and said, “Well, you’re lucky because the transaction is still in the system but I can’t give you a refund or even store credit. The only thing I can do for you is to give you an exchange for another item tonight.”
“Are you sure it has to be tonight?” I asked. “I literally don’t have any idea what I need to buy. I already have a Wii Fit, Wii Rockband, and all the games that I want to play right now. My living room is already full of Wii shit. I’m not going to be able to spend all that right now, I don’t think.”
Jose looked at me and said, “Well, how much longer? You can’t take another month on this. How about a week? Is that enough time to think about it?”
I shrugged. “I guess it will have to be,” I answered. “Thanks so much for your help.”
He made a note in the system that I could exchange the item for other merchandise for another week.
I called Yoshi, who was already wandering through the Target next door and explained the situation. Yoshi said, “Hey, since we’re here, let’s just figure out what to buy and make the exchanges today so we don’t have to come back another day. Besides, Target is open until 10 so I can just leave and we can come back after we’re done there.”
“Ok,” I said. And I waited for Yoshi to come over.
The Wii DDR dance pad cost $69.99 + tax, so we had to figure out what to buy at Best Buy that would cost roughly the same price. After the stress of worrying about whether or not I was going to be able to get anything from Best Buy, the stress of spending $70 seemed a lot preferable… at first.
Then, after wandering around Best Buy for 20 minutes and not seeing anything at that price point that we wanted, we were relegated to asking ridiculous questions like, “Do you want a new mouse?” “How about a new laptop cooling pad?” “Can I buy a new laptop? How about one that fits in my pocket?”
We didn’t really need anything and anything we did want to buy was out of stock or way out of the price range.
We decided that we didn’t need either a mouse or a cooling pad, but Yoshi needed a new USB hub ($18) and so we got that and kept wandering. I was still carrying my DDR in a giant party bag around the store. It was starting to get heavy.
After 40 minutes, I was really losing it. (I had started to lose it 20 minutes earlier when I had suggested a mouse.)
We went back to the Wii area and decided to buy a $19 Wii nunchuk since we haven’t seen our original nunchuk since my graduation party in April. If we find the original, then we’ll have two nunchuks to use.
About $30 to go.
Who knew it would be so hard for us to spend $30 at Best Buy?
We walked ’round and ’round and I decided I needed to get something to protect the new digital camera my Bro and his gf had given me for my birthday. After going through about 50 different camera cases, I found a cute little camera case for $15.
Just $15 more to spend.
I thought, “Well, since I am protecting my camera, maybe I should get something to protect my iPhone since it’s dented and scratched since I didn’t put it in a case or even any kind of skin on it.”
We went around to the iPhone accessories section and I was faced with a couple of dozen choices. To say that I was overwhelmed at this point was an understatement. Yoshi had already noticed that I was staring into space and mumbling to myself and was trying to pick up the pace.
I noticed that there were two Best Buy sales associates in the mobile phone section and I thought about asking for help. Except that they were both too busy flirting with a pretty girl in a short skirt to notice me standing there. This in itself wasn’t too bothersome, except that the pretty girl was talking a lot really loudly and she was a complete moron. “Oh, it’s Hollywood,” she cooed to the guys. “You know how it is here.”
I rolled my eyes and ignored the scene. I couldn’t hear what the guys were saying back to her, but I did hear her response… “that’s so GAY!” You know the way she said it. Like the way little boys say it on the playground not because they know what it means, but because they know it’s supposed to be “bad.”
I. Hate. That.
We were in a shopping center in WEST HOLLYWOOD for pete’s sake! That’s (almost) like standing in the Castro calling the guys there fags when you’re not one yourself.
And then she giggled loudly. And I looked back and I caught the eye of one of the guys. I must have given him the look o’ death because he meekly (and quickly) looked away and pretended like he was busy with the other customer… the pretty but incredibly stupid, stupid girl.
I was pissed. Not at any one thing in particular, but all the little things in combination. Everything was rubbing me the wrong way.
I got huffy. “I don’t want anything for my iPhone!” I declared loudly to Yoshi (who had also overheard that conversation) and I stomped away.
I was losing it rapidly.
“Just pick a DVD. Any DVD and we can be done with this,” I snapped at Yoshi. Now I was taking it out on someone who had not done anything to piss me off.
Saying “pick any DVD” was not really good suggestion because, well, it’s just not. So Yoshi was going through the aisles as quickly as possible, trying to find a single DVD that we didn’t have and wanted to own. Yoshi brilliantly remembered that of all the Harry Potter movies that are out on DVD, there was one that we don’t own (Prisoner of Azkaban) and every time I look at the DVD shelf, I go “Are we missing one? Which one are we missing?” and then I never remember the answer. Yoshi started looking for the Harry Potter section and I was half-following, near tears at this point because I just wanted out of the Best Buy. I caught up to Yoshi standing in front of the Harry Potter DVDs… Sorcerer’s Stone, Goblet of Fire… NO AZKABAN!
DAMMIT! The one DVD we were actually looking for… NOT THERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes… Yoshi told me to stand somewhere and just wait and was already trolling for another DVD. I ignored the instruction to wait and took two steps, turned to the right and saw LUST, CAUTION on the top shelf. I grabbed it. “How about this?” I asked, not caring about the answer. Yoshi diplomatically answered, “Have you even seen it? {No} Is it any good? {I dunno}” But I said, “It’s Ang Lee. I’ll take it. Let’s go.” And I started barreling back toward the Customer Service desk.
Luckily there was no line this time and Jose was still there. He smiled at me and I said, “I’ve been wandering around the store for over an hour to find stuff to buy!” And he nicely started the return and ringing me up. And I was babbling because I was still upset and annoyed at everything. I was huffing and puffing at Yoshi about the idiot sales guys in the mobile phone section and I said loudly, “Look, I didn’t really NEED help back there, but it would have been nice if just one of those guys had stopped flirting with the hot chick in the tiny skirt and OFFERED to help me.”
And Jose looked up from ringing me up and said, “Uh oh. Not this store, I hope…”
And Yoshi said, “Unfortunately, yeah. Back in the mobile phone section.”
Jose looked up and saw them still sitting there. “Oh I know who you’re talking about.” He turned around and whispered into the Manager’s ear, pointing back at the mobile phone section. And then he stepped back and seamlessly finished our transaction and said, “I’m sorry about that. I informed the manager of your troubles.” Wow. I didn’t mean to tattle on anyone, but I didn’t care. And Jose had been doubly nice to me already. I could feel the tears subsiding. I wasn’t going to burst into tears in public, thank god.
With that, our Best Buy adventure was over, so we stopped to drop our stuff of in the car and headed over to Target to get the things that we had originally come for before the entire Best Buy detour. Target was pretty uneventful but it was a little stressful because I was still looking around at 10 when they closed and all the lines at the cash registers were totally long. But after getting through there and having to go pay for parking and finding out the parking machines could not take credit cards but only cash and finding cash to pay for parking and then finally navigating through that crazy ass parking lot to finally, finally get home… yay home!
We walked up to our front door with our merchandise in hands, tired and weary and glad to be there.
I had made it home without crying… almost.
As Yoshi unlocked the front door and stepped in, I waited patiently on the front step, standing next to the light by the front door, where moths frequently like to congregate. I try to ignore them most of the time, but as I was walking toward the open front door, I saw it from the corner of my eye. It was coming straight at my face!
OMFG!!!!!!! THE MOTH IS DIVING BOMBING ME! I turned my body and my head to avoid it, but it had gained too much speed and it hit me square in the left temple.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
I HATE MOTHS! I HATE MOTHS SO MUCH! THEY SCARE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME AND ONE TOUCHED ME ON MY FACE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I tried not to scream. I was standing near a very echo-y stairwell which leads up to the front door of neighbors we really like. I started to whimper. Or at least that’s what I’m going to call it. I was making noises but I was trying to keep the scream in. And I was totally immobilized from the shock and horror of seeing an EVIL, EVIL MOTH FLYING RIGHT AT MY HEAD.
Yoshi turned around and was wondering what I was doing, still standing outside, facing the wrong direction and making strange noises.
“A moth… a moth… a moth FLEW INTO MY FACE!” I stammered out.
Yoshi knew better than to mock me this time, and pulled me into the house. “It’s ok, you’re ok…” Yoshi reassured me, closing and locking the front door behind me.
“IT TOUCHED MY FACE! A MOTH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” I blurted out.
And then I lost it.
I started crying. Not just a couple of tears streaming down my face but full on blubbering and all the while muttering something about moths being evil and wanting to hurt me.
Because if it wasn’t completely obvious by now, I am totally completely, intensely, and unapologetically phobic of moths. I had made it all the way through the night of Best Buy hell and I was just about to walk into the safety and comfort of my home and the one thing that I just didn’t need at that moment was to get attacked by a moth on my doorstep.
“I NEED A SHOWER!!!” I started to sob through my tears. Now that the front door was closed, I was getting louder and Yoshi took my hand and led me to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
And I got undressed and stepped into the shower with tears and snot streaming down my face, poisonous moth dust eating up the left side of my head.
“I FEEL LIKE A LOSER!” I whined, alternately feeling sorry for myself for being such a pathetic crybaby and feeling sorry for Yoshi for having to take care of such a pathetic crybaby.
I was still crying in the shower, but knowing that the evil moth dust was getting washed away made me feel a lot better.
“You’re not a loser,” said Yoshi, comforting me from outside the shower. “You just had a long, trying day.”
Even so, I still felt like a loser for throwing a tantrum like a two-year old, but I did feel a little better and stopped crying by the time I was done with my shower. And when I got out, Yoshi was waiting to wrap me up in a warm towel and take me to bed.
Wow.
I’m one lucky girl, even if I am a crybaby.
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